Finding professional help for a funeral or memorial
A celebrant leads the ceremony, a funeral home handles the arrangements and prices, and a eulogy writer drafts the words with you. Below, what each one does, the questions to ask, and the price information a funeral home must give you by law.
Updated · Editorial lead: Jean-Claude Fatemian
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Who does what
A celebrant or officiant
A celebrant leads the ceremony. Many meet the family beforehand, listen to stories about the person, and then shape the order of the service: the welcome, the readings, the music, the moments for others to speak, and the closing words. Some are attached to a faith community; many independent celebrants lead non-religious or mixed ceremonies, at a funeral home, a graveside, a home or a park.
Questions worth asking:
- Will you meet with us before the service, and how much of the ceremony do you write?
- Can the service be religious, non-religious, or a mix of both?
- Will you read words written by the family, or help someone in the family deliver them?
- What is your fee, what does it include, and will you confirm it in writing?
A funeral home, especially when planning ahead
A funeral home handles the practical arrangements: care of the body, the service itself if you hold it there, transport, and the paperwork. Planning ahead lets you compare providers calmly instead of in the first days after a death; our funeral pre-planning guide lists the questions to ask before you prepay.
Under the FTC Funeral Rule, funeral providers must give you accurate, itemized price information, including a written General Price List, and must answer price questions asked by telephone. You cannot be required to buy a package or items you do not want in order to get the ones you do want. The FTC notes that these rules apply to pre-need arrangements too.
Questions worth asking:
- May I have your General Price List to keep?
- Which items on this arrangement are required, and by whom (law, cemetery, or your own policy)?
- If we plan ahead and pay anything now, what happens to that money if we move or change our minds?
- What changes for our family if the arrangements are altered later?
The FTC's funeral costs and pricing checklist is a good companion when you compare two or three providers. If you are planning ahead, our funeral pre-planning workbook puts three funeral homes side by side on the same lines, with room for each answer.
A professional eulogy writer
A eulogy writer interviews you, and sometimes other relatives, then drafts the words with you so the person who speaks can deliver them in their own voice. It suits families who know what they want to say but cannot find the words, or who have very little time.
Questions worth asking:
- How will you gather the stories: a call, a questionnaire, a meeting?
- How many rounds of changes are included, and how long does a draft take compared with the date of the service?
- Will the text stay private, and will you ever reuse it?
If you would rather write it yourself, the eulogy guide and the free eulogy outline builder walk you through it step by step.
Before you agree to anything
- Ask for every price in writing, and keep a copy.
- You can say no, ask for time, or speak to another provider.
- Bring someone you trust to meetings if you can: decisions are easier with two sets of ears.
Common questions
Do I have to buy a funeral package?
No. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, a funeral provider cannot require you to buy goods or services you do not want in order to get the ones you do want. You can choose items individually from the price list.
Can I ask a funeral home for prices over the phone?
Yes. The Funeral Rule requires funeral providers to answer price questions asked by telephone with accurate information from their price lists.
Do these rules apply if I am planning ahead?
Yes. The FTC explains that the Funeral Rule applies to pre-need arrangements as well as to arrangements made after a death, so you should receive the same price lists when you plan ahead.
Sources
- Shopping for Funeral Services (FTC Consumer Advice)
- Funeral Costs and Pricing Checklist (FTC Consumer Advice)
- Complying with the Funeral Rule (Federal Trade Commission)
Related guides
- Funeral pre-planning: deciding ahead without paying too soonWhat to decide, how to compare funeral homes, and what to ask before you prepay.
- How to Write a EulogyThe five-part structure, the right length, and how to get through it.
- Celebration of life: what it is and how to plan oneHow it differs from a funeral, planning, invitations and dress.
- Funeral program: what to includeThe panels, the wording and how to print it.
- Eulogy outline builderFive boxes that turn your memories into a first draft.
Would you rather not do this yourself?
A celebrant, a funeral home or a eulogy writer can help in person. Leave a short request and a partner professional may get in touch. Free to ask, no obligation; TributePen only passes it on.