Celebration of life
Memory cards for a funeral or a celebration of life
Memory cards are small cards that guests fill in at a funeral, a memorial or a celebration of life, with a prompt such as "My favorite memory of Ruth is...", and leave in a box for the family. Print about two per guest, put them near the guest book with plenty of pens and a short sign, and choose a precise prompt: "share a memory" makes many people freeze, while "The thing I will always remember Ruth saying is..." brings out a story.
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On this page
The examples on this page were written for TributePen. The people, names and details in them are invented: use them as a starting point, never as someone's real story.
Prompts that make people write
A precise prompt helps guests find a story in two minutes. Choose one or two per card, or print several versions so the table offers a choice. Replace the name with the one the guests used: "Grandpa Joe", "Coach", "Mrs. Lee".
| For | Prompts |
|---|---|
| Everyone | My favorite memory of [name] is... · The thing I will always remember [name] saying is... · The first time I met [name]... |
| A celebration of life | The funniest thing [name] ever did... · The food I will always connect with [name]... · [Name]'s favorite saying was... |
| Lessons and values | The best advice [name] ever gave me... · Something [name] taught me without saying it... · A way I want to be more like [name]... |
| Coworkers and clubs | What [name] was like to work with... · How [name] helped me when I was new... |
| Children | My favorite thing about [name]... · Draw a picture of you and [name]. |
| A crowded room | [Name] in one word: · One thing I will miss: · Thank you, [name], for... |
The pie dishes
warmMy favorite memory of Ruth is the summer my husband was ill. Every Thursday she left a pie on our porch and a note that said "No need to return the dish." We still have four of her pie dishes.
Margaret Doyle, next door on Hill Street
The hidden coffee
simpleWhat Joe was like to work with: he learned every new driver's name on the first day. When I started, he showed me where the good coffee was hidden. Twenty years later, I still hide it there.
Luis, shipping department
What to write on the table sign
Share a memory
simplePlease share a memory of Ruth
Take a card, write a memory, a story or a few words, and leave it in the box.
Ruth's family will read every one.
How many, what size, what paper
| Card size | Per Letter sheet | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| 4.25 x 5.5 inches (quarter sheet) | 4 | Most guests |
| 5.5 x 8.5 inches (half sheet) | 2 | Children's drawings, longer stories |
| 4 x 6 inches | 2, trimmed | Standard photo albums and boxes |
| 3 x 5 inches | 4, trimmed | A crowded event; index card boxes |
- Print about two cards per expected guest.
- Use card stock that your printer accepts (check its manual), and matte rather than glossy paper so ballpoint pens write well.
- Type the name and dates exactly as in the obituary, and ask a second person to check them.
- Cut with a paper trimmer, and keep bundles apart with a slip of paper, never a rubber band.
Setting up the memory table
- Near the entrance or the guest book, where everyone passes.
- The sign at eye level, the cards, ten pens or more, and a box with a lid or a slot.
- A few photos of the person, and crayons if children are coming.
- One friend who refills the cards and collects the finished ones.
- Leave the box out until the very end: many people write on their way out.
Memories from people who cannot come
Add a line to the obituary or the email that shares the service details: "The family would love to hear your memories of Ruth. Please send them to [address] by [date]." Print the memories that arrive by email on the same size as the cards, with the writer's name, so they can join the others.
After the service: the memory book
Read the cards together first, then sort them by how the writers knew the person (family, childhood, work, neighbors, friends) and match a few with photos. A three-ring binder with photo-safe sleeves is a perfectly good memory book. The Library of Congress advises keeping photographs cool and relatively dry, in photo-safe enclosures, away from attics and basements, and avoiding glue, self-adhesive tape, paper clips, rubber bands and "magnetic" album pages; the same care suits the cards.
For more ways to make a gathering personal, see celebration of life ideas and our guide to planning a celebration of life. To announce it, celebration of life invitation wording has examples, and the funeral program page shows where a line inviting guests to share a memory can go.
Common questions
What do you write on a memory card for a funeral?
A short memory, a saying or a few words about the person, answering the prompt on the card, followed by your name and how you knew them. For example, "My favorite memory of Ruth is the summer she left a pie on our porch every Thursday. Margaret, next door."
How many memory cards do you need?
About two for every guest you expect: some people write more than one, and some cards get spoiled. Four quarter-sheet cards fit on one US Letter sheet.
What size are memory cards?
Any size that is easy to write on. A quarter sheet (4.25 x 5.5 inches) fits four to a Letter page; 4 x 6 inches fits standard photo albums; a half sheet leaves room for a child's drawing.
What do you do with memory cards after the funeral?
Read them together, sort them by how the writers knew the person, and keep them in a binder with photo-safe sleeves, a photo-safe box or a scrapbook, without glue or tape. Many families scan them so each branch of the family has a copy.
Sources
Related guides
- Celebration of life ideasMemory tables, music, food, activities and keepsakes.
- Celebration of life: what it is and how to plan oneHow it differs from a funeral, planning, invitations and dress.
- Celebration of life invitation wordingFormal, casual and themed wording for any format.
- Funeral program: what to includeThe panels, the wording and how to print it.
Would you rather not do this yourself?
A celebrant, a funeral home or a eulogy writer can help in person. Leave a short request and a partner professional may get in touch. Free to ask, no obligation; TributePen only passes it on.