Obituary
Obituary for a husband or wife
Writing your spouse's obituary in the first days of grief is hard, and it is fine to ask a child, a sibling or a friend to draft it with you. The structure is the usual one; the heart of it is one or two sentences about your life together and who they were to others.
Updated
On this page
The examples on this page were written for TributePen. The people, names and details in them are invented: use them as a starting point, never as someone's real story.
Asking for help
In the first days, you have decisions to make about the service, family to call and your own grief. Many spouses tell a son, daughter or close friend the facts and stories and let them write the draft, then read it together. Your job is to check that it sounds like the person you married.
Examples
William Carter
warm≈ 47 sec read aloudWilliam "Bill" Carter, 68, of Albuquerque, New Mexico, died on September 22, 2026, after a two-year illness.
Bill taught high school chemistry for thirty years and never lost his delight when an experiment worked, or his delight when it spectacularly did not. He grew tomatoes, did the Sunday crossword in pen, and brought his wife coffee in bed every morning for thirty-nine years.
He is survived by his wife, Nancy; his children, Katie (Ryan) Moore and Jon Carter; his granddaughter, Lily; and his brother, Tom. He was preceded in death by his parents.
A memorial service will be held at 3 p.m. Sunday, October 4. Former students are warmly invited.
Maria Lopez
traditional≈ 42 sec read aloudMaria Guadalupe Lopez, 70, of San Antonio, Texas, died on September 23, 2026.
Maria was a school secretary for twenty-eight years and sang alto in her parish choir for thirty years. She was known for her tamales, her tomatoes and her kindness to anyone in trouble.
She is survived by her husband of 47 years, George; her children, Teresa (Paul) Garza and Mark Lopez; and five grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, Ramon.
A Rosary will be prayed at 7 p.m. Thursday, and a funeral Mass celebrated at 10 a.m. Friday.
Greg Martin
simple≈ 30 sec read aloudGregory Martin, 57, of Minneapolis, Minnesota, died unexpectedly on September 28, 2026.
Greg was an IT consultant who fixed friends' computers for free, a devoted cyclist and a generous host.
He is survived by his partner of 22 years, Paul Anderson; his mother, Joyce Martin; his sister, Lisa (Mark) Olson; and his nephews, Ben and Sam.
A celebration of Greg's life will be held at 4 p.m. Saturday, October 10.
A line from you
Some families add a closing line in the first person: "Bill, thank you for every morning. Love, Nancy." It is not traditional in a newspaper, but on a funeral home website it can be the line people remember.
For the speech, see eulogy for a husband or eulogy for a wife. To write to a widow or widower, see sympathy messages for the loss of a husband or wife.
Common questions
How do you refer to yourself in your spouse's obituary?
Obituaries are written in the third person, so you appear in the survivors, for example "He is survived by his wife of 42 years, Nancy." Some families add a personal line from the spouse at the end.
How do you mention a previous spouse in an obituary?
A previous spouse who died is usually listed among those who "preceded in death." A living former spouse is often not mentioned, unless the family wishes, for example as the mother or father of the children.
How do you list an unmarried partner?
Name them first among the survivors, with the length of the relationship: "his partner of 18 years, David Chen."
Related guides
- How to Write an ObituaryWhat to include, in what order, and what to leave out.
- Obituary for a motherThree complete obituaries for a mother, and what to include.
- Eulogy for a husbandWhether to speak yourself, and a complete eulogy from a wife.
- Eulogy for a wifeFor husbands and partners, with a complete eulogy.