Eulogy

Eulogy for a friend

A friend's eulogy shows the family a side of the person they may not have seen. Tell how you met, one or two stories from your friendship, and what they were like with the people they chose. Check with the family about anything sensitive, and keep it to three or four minutes.

Updated September 30, 2026

On this page

The examples on this page were written for TributePen. The people, names and details in them are invented: use them as a starting point, never as someone's real story.

A friend's place at the service

Family members usually speak about the whole life. As a friend, you speak about the life they chose: the people, the adventures, the private jokes (explained), the way they were when no parent was watching. That is a gift to the family, as long as it is kind.

Three things to do before writing:

Ask the family how long you have and who else speaks.
Collect one story from another friend, so you speak for the group, not only for yourself.
Decide what stays private. Some stories belong at the reception or in a letter to the family.

A complete eulogy for a best friend

The road trip list

warm≈ 2 min 11 sec read aloud

In our freshman year of college, Nate and I wrote a list on the back of a pizza box: fifty places to drive to before we turned fifty. We made it to thirty-one.

I'm Luis. Nate and I met at eighteen, in a dorm with a broken heater, and we have been friends for twenty-five years. Thank you, Carol and Jim, for raising him, and for letting me speak today.

Most of you knew Nate as a high school history teacher, the one students came back to visit ten years later. His principal told me this week that he never once gave up on a kid. That doesn't surprise anyone who knew him as a friend, because he never gave up on us either.

Here is my story. Six years ago, I lost my job and, for a while, a lot more than my job. I stopped answering my phone. Nate didn't call again. He drove nine hours, knocked on my door at seven in the morning, and said, "Number thirty-two. Get in the car." We drove to the Grand Canyon. We didn't talk about my problems once. We talked about everything else, for three days. When I got home, I started looking for work.

That was Nate. He didn't give speeches. He gave you a road and a reason to be on it.

Nate leaves his wife, Sara, and their two boys, who have his laugh and his terrible taste in music. He leaves hundreds of students who read history differently because of him. And he leaves a pizza box with nineteen places left on it.

Sara has asked a few of us to finish that list with the boys, over the next few years. We will.

Nate, number thirty-two was the best one. Thanks for getting me in the car. We'll drive the rest.

For a best friend of twenty-five years · 306 words · 1,556 characters

Why it works: the list gives the eulogy a shape and a future, the teaching career is honored through someone else's words, and the story shows the friend's loyalty without exposing too much of the speaker's crisis. The family is thanked at the start. Make it yours: find the object or plan that belonged to your friendship.

Passages to adapt

Last text

simple

The last text Jenny sent me was a photo of her dog wearing sunglasses, with no message. That was so her. Life was always a little funnier with her in it, and today it is very quiet.

For a friend, after a sudden death · 37 words · 181 characters

Why it works: a small real detail, and honest about the silence. Make it yours: the last ordinary exchange can be the most powerful.

Since second grade

uplifting

Tony and I have been friends since second grade, when he traded me his pudding cup for my entire lunch. I have been trying to get a fair deal from him for forty years.

For a childhood friend · 34 words · 167 characters

Why it works: gentle humor that shows the length of the friendship. Make it yours: the first memory of how you met is often the right opening.

The group

warm

There are eight of us who have had dinner together every month for twenty years. Tonight there will be seven chairs, and we will leave the eighth one where it is.

For a friend speaking for a group · 31 words · 162 characters

Why it works: it speaks for a circle and gives a concrete image of the loss. Make it yours: say how your group will remember them.

To his parents

simple

To Nate's parents: you gave us a friend who made each of us braver. Thank you for sharing him with us.

For a closing to the family · 21 words · 102 characters

Why it works: friends often close by thanking the family. Make it yours: one sentence, sincerely.

For opening lines, see how to start a eulogy. If the service is a celebration of life, see the celebration of life speech guide. To write to your friend's family, see sympathy messages for a friend.

Common questions

What do you say in a eulogy for a best friend?

How you met, what your friendship was like, one or two stories that show who they were with friends, and what they meant to you. End by speaking to them, and thank the family for letting you speak.

Should I check my eulogy with the family?

Yes, especially for stories involving drinking, relationships, conflicts with family, health or anything private. A quick read by a close relative avoids hurting someone at a hard moment.

How do you write a eulogy for a friend who died young?

Keep it simple and true. Speak about who they were and what they loved, not about what they missed. Acknowledge the shock in one sentence if you need to, and give the room one memory to hold on to.